Hey Dave Gaudet, we're calling you out

[Omega]

That's right. The three newbies to ComedySportz issued a challenge to CSz to give us there three most experienced players to face us in our first show ever with the ensemble. Dave was more than willing to accept the offer and this is going to happen THIS FRIDAY at the Chicago Center for the Performing Arts MAIN STAGE.

Pat Dwyer
Nick Hausman
Matt Hicks

vs.

Dave Gaudet
Randy Smock
Alida Vitas

Friday 4.6.07 @ 8 pm
777 Green St.
www.comedysportzchicago.com (http://www.comedysportzchicago.com) < go here for tickets, directions and all the info on this thing.

You think we're scared?

[timryder]

It's been real nice knowing you, Hausman.

[matthewp]

Matt Hicks of the amazing ensemble dirty water made The CSZ ensemble???? Thats awesome great job matt. Your gonna lose though.

[Omega]

It's been real nice knowing you, Hausman.

You too Tim, it has been a pleasure knowing you as well. Aw, that was sweet, thanks Tim.

[tara d.]

alida vitas will take you three by herself.

hazing soon, probably.

[Omega]

I can't hit Alita back, so you've got me there.

But as far as the hazing part goes, bring it Tara. What's your game? Keg stands? Shotgunning? Beer Bong?

I hope it's beer bonging, my buddy T-Bone has one called the "Great American Challenge" that'll put you under the table.

Oh, and this is an all ages show.

[Hicks]

I don't know what I've enjoyed more; Hausman throwing the gauntlet down hard or the fact he has a buddy named T-Bone. I believe it's the latter.

[Omega]

Ok, maybe I am coming at this a little strong. It's all in good fun, I would never want to talk smack on my Producer. Even if I do plan on owning the stage... BOOM! Bring it ;)

Kaufman=mantra

[benjohnson]

Once you newbies are done losing to the oldbies, try that challenge crap with the middlebies, and then you'll know the real definition of "bies."

Unsure of what I just said,
B

[Omega]

Hey Ben, remember when we used to intern together? I'd take your ass out faster than the iO trash.

[Hicks]

Houseman is quickly becoming the Gary Payton of ComedySportz.

[smockcsz]

So does this mean that Houseman's new nickname is now officially "The Glove?"

Class begins at 8 tonight, ladies. Don't be late.

P.S. For those of you who are not NBA fans, the nickname for NBA Point Guard Gary Payton is "The Glove" because of his tough defense...and that's one to grow on.

[supes]

Seeing that I'm on sound tonight, the final decision as to who wins will be mine. So good luck, Mr. Payton et al.

Seriously though, even if just Alita shows up you guys are in trouble.

[Omega]

I have two things to say to these comments:

1.) Get ready to "smell the glove," as in smell what I am cooking.

2.) It's HAUSMAN. You must have me confused with this guy:

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0002144/

[smockcsz]

Do something note worthy tonight on stage and you can be Hausman. Until then, you are Nick "The Glove" Houseman. Oh, and by the way Mr. Fact Checker, "Smell The Glove" was the name of Spinal Taps record not The Rock's catch phrase. So do us all a favor and wash the glove already people are starting to talk.

[Omega]

I decided to flex my genre blending muscle to pop that one out. Like if you got "musical" and "Mamet" and then you'd have to do a musical Mamet scene... maybe that's asking too much of you.

[Natalina]

Too bad I'll miss this tonight. I'll be in church.

But the newbies will be in school.

Burn.

[Omega]

That's great you'll be in church. Say a prayer for our "teachers."

School's out for the summer, in April.

[Hicks]

Hey, we almost got in a fight at White Castle late last night in Rogers Park. If we can handle that plus the damage the sliders did to our digestive tracks we can handle tonight. Plus Alida may be recovering from paint fumes again and lord knows what'll happen from that.

[Dave Ries]

Good Lord! You had sliders? I was this close to pulling for you guys tonight, but now I know you'll be weak from greasy tiny burgs.

Has it been mentioned that Alida could take you guys on by herself?

I can't wait to see this show!

New-Bie Take-Down! Clap - Clap - Clap Clap Clap.

[Omega]

Should it be mentioned we creamed these guys into the ground? Sorry, I'm too hopped up on the alcohol and the... um, love. Thank you guys for a great show, I hope you can bring it as hard at the rematch.

[supes]

You won by one point, man. No one was "creamed". But you played a good show.

[Omega]

Your right, creamed was a poor choice of words.

Destroyed
Decimated
Obliterated
Nuked
Annihilated
Threw into a six foot hole

You pick.

[smockcsz]

It also should be known that the Newbs got 8 of their points handed to them by Ref Rance.

Rematch! Rematch!

P.S.
I saw them pay off Rance after the match and they took performance enhancing drugs before the show.

Drug test them now and let the truth be revealed!

[Rance Rizzutto]

Basically...I won.


You've been hazed.

[Omega]

What I don't like is people treating this like it was a fluke or an accident. I've heard alot of "You wouldn't have won without Rance," "we forgot to add those points," or "it was just a point." You want the re-match Smock, you got it. Bring it hard, I love it when Dave looks at me and says "I came to compete," like he doesn't think I did. Set it up, anytime, any place.