About that wanker last night at the PG...

[Sleeps]

I gave him his money back.

I mean, he didn't come. I think anyone would want their money back if no climax was reached.

[Hendo]

Agreed. It was the only sane course of action.

[Carr]

What happened? If you are going to bring it up on the board, we need deets!


Erin

[Hendo]

There was a wanker. He got thrown out before he could finish. Garrett gave him his money back.

JEEZ LOUISE, do you need us to draw you a picture?

[ritty]

But did Garrett slap him first?

[Biddle]

Wait, what?

There was a guy wanking himself in the PG? During a show?

I can't wait to see his apology video.

Cheers,
COB

[Hendo]

no. before the show. WELL before the show. like 7:35.

[speedymarie]

Poor Seth. It was his first night house managing on his own, and this is what happens.

heh.

[Hendo]

it was all good. Except Ryan Gilmour was too afraid to approach the dude, so he came and got me.

[Biddle]

Wait, just so that I understand...

Was he actually "wanking himself" like with his wiener and everything?
Or are you saying that he was performing on a two man team with a buddy of his that is also already on a member team?

Are we talking about Rampson?
It was Rampson, wasn't it!

COB

[Landmine]

so he came and got me.

This story is confusing.

[Sleeps]

He showed up at 7:30. He didn't speak English very well and wasn't there to see a specific team, but he looked like a regular guy. I was in the box office talking to Gilmour, and not 5 minutes after he sat down, Gilmour said "Hey...that guy's touching his dick."

Picture = painted.

[Mikaela]

your signature was never more aptly placed.

[Sleeps]

your signature was never more aptly placed.

Your current title is relevant to this discussion!

[Biddle]

Did anyone give him a flyer for the Burlesque show?

I bet that would make his head asplode!

COB

PS. I bet I get an angry phone call from Hendo about this post.

[Hendo]

according to Gilmour and Gass, the gentleman first started in his pants, then proceeded to expose himself.

The funniest part is that Gass confronted him, and the guy said, "Okay. I'm done. I won't do it anymore," like it would be okay for him to stay after that.


Also, he was in one of the seats closest to the door... with no one sitting around him. Completely exposed, so to speak.

[Don Hall]

Way back in the day, when the PG was WNEP, a dude came in to see the sketch group "Monsters of the Id" who were renting the space at the time on Friday nights, midnight.

Normal looking cat. Sat in the back row. There about 20 people in the audience, sitting in the front three rows. I notice that cat was squeezing his pud and sweating about halfway through the show.

I quietly walked up to and whispered, "Put it back in your pants and hit the bricks...now."

He whispered back, "Then I want my money back."

"Nah. You're gonna leave without your money or I'm going to stop the show, announce your spank to the crowd and then drag your nasty ass out of here myself. Choose."

He got up quietly and left.

The next day, Jen announced that Shaun and I couldn't show porn onstage during "The Sickest F***ing Stories I Ever Heard" anymore.

[Biddle]

The next day, Jen announced that Shaun and I couldn't show porn onstage during "The Sickest F***ing Stories I Ever Heard" anymore.

This is true. After that, they had to act them out, via pantomime!

[MSutton]

Don - I'm suprised Jen let Shaun do Sickest stories after you had to kick him out of the theater like that.

[Carr]

Sorry, I thought you were using "wanker" in the British slang use of the word.

My bad.


Erin

[Sleeps]

Also, he was in one of the seats closest to the door... with no one sitting around him. Completely exposed, so to speak.

This could've very well been "business as usual" as far as he was concerned.

What got me was the fact that (besides the the theater being called the Playground and it's location on Halstead and Belmont) there is nothing that would lead anyone to think that the PG was "that" sort of establishment.

[Gass]

Whoa, I'm the one who approached him and threw him out. Yes, I literally had a front row seat to the wankin'!!!

Stupid Europeans and their idea of pleasure!

[ryandee]

I think AFRAID is a negative spin on it Hendor.

I'm just not equipped with an answer to a stranger's dick.

To be fair, before full wankage started, he could have just been adjusting himself with is pants unzipped.

for a really long time.

I earned my stripes by spotting him, god damnit.

[elisabeth]

this is a wonderful story of courage and strength in the face of a great struggle.

well done, gentlemen.

[ryandee]

this is a wonderful story of courage and strength in the face of a great struggle.

well done, gentlemen.

I know.

I just never really saw myself playing Poncho to Ed Gass' Don Quixote de la Mancha

[davec]

It WAS the playground. Maybe he was just trying to match the energy of the show.

BAM.

*drops mike, raises hands, slowly swaggers offstage*

[Hendo]

Thanks for playing, but it was a half-hour BEFORE the show.

Way to pay attention. Now I know why you never left the stage when your Mr. Fancypants team-mates edited you.

[Juan]

http://webhollis.com/albums/Funny-Pics/mugshot_PeeWee_Herman.thumb.jpg

[sether]

What a way to be initiated into the world of house managing.

It was so hot!

THANK YOU PLAYGROUND!

[ryandee]

Seth did a good job last night.

I think the wanker incident largely missed him, but he did a good job house managing.

[TommyP]

Man, I wish I was there to use my newly-acquired kickboxing skeews.

That've learned 'im.

[Guy]

Wow. I hope my House Manager Worst Case Scenarios handout prepared you for this, Seth.

Nicely done.

You too, Gass.

[Mikaela]

hey, i need to see if my signature has been added, so i am going to make this terrible joke :


" the reviews are in, and that guy's one man show is really masturbatory."

HAHAHAH

[dewidiot]

I had a similar but non sexual experience like this when i was watching the door after our troupe was done for the next group's sketch run. This homeless dude had wandered in an took the front row then turned around to tell everyone in the audience to "never to do drugs" then dug into the trash can to drink some warm half finished beers. He then had the nerve to stand up and address the cast performing saying "Can I ask you a question?" and then got angry when no one onstage stopped their scene to listen to his very valid question. I grabbed him and was like "you got to get the fuck out". Then he screamed that he couldn't find his hat before shouting "I love you!" as he was bounced out the door. Justin from Schad put it on their website the next day. I thought that was bad, but jacking it in the theater? WAAAAAAY worse.

Someone needs to make trophy for that kind of thing.


Andrew

www.thewarheroes.com

[Hendo]

the funny thing is, both times we've had some guy pull his dick out (it happened once at the old PG, too), the show they were attending was non-sexual. Just a normal improv show.

We've NEVER (knock on wood) had someone whip their dick out at our burlesque show.

[Juan]

remember back in the day it was not cool to admit you masturbated .;)
http://www.chicagoimprov.org/forum/showthread.php?t=575
You know I totally knew that thread was going to come in handy. You gotta plan your jokes way ahead of time.

[Telfer]

Someone needs to make trophy for that kind of thing.


http://www.direnerd.com/files/jackin.jpg

[Daddy]

Telfer.

Too soon.

[Juan]

nah it's not too soon.

[LoLo]

http://webhollis.com/albums/Funny-Pics/mugshot_PeeWee_Herman.thumb.jpg
don't bring my boyfriend into this

[kreigle]

For the record, I was nowhere near the Playground last night. I have alibis....plenty of them.

--Ken

[aneg]

if this thread has proved anything, its that i need to go to the playground more often.

[Gass]

if this thread has proved anything, its that i need to go to the playground more often.

...and touch myself!!!!

[Juan]

don't bring my boyfriend into this

though you were my girlfriend?;)

[idmonster]

Way back in the day, when the PG was WNEP, a dude came in to see the sketch group "Monsters of the Id" who were renting the space at the time on Friday nights, midnight.

Normal looking cat. Sat in the back row. There about 20 people in the audience, sitting in the front three rows. I notice that cat was squeezing his pud and sweating about halfway through the show.

DEAR LORD GOD, I was in that show. I don't think any of us were aware of this until now. Don, I think I'm glad you kept it from us. I can't help but wonder during which seen it was. And what I was wearing......

-Jeff M.