Oh, Canada!

[Belmont Burlesque Revue]

You asked for an earlier show? You got it.
You want a fully stocked cash bar? Okay, that too.
You need enough room to bring 20 of your friends without feeling cramped? Done.
You want twice the bump 'n' grind for the same measly $10? Hmm.... that's a tall order... let me think about it...
Okay! Okay! We give! (Sheesh!)
Twice the twirl
Same hot price
Twice the girls
Lots of space
Big Cash Bar!
Early show.
There's no excuse,
You've got to go!
Not to mention, also, and additionally, the very best bit of all the wiggly and jiggly bits... we're bringing you the tastiest maple-flavored honeys from their home and native land straight to the windy city... The Steeltown Sirens will be joining us straight from their Ontario home! (http://www.myspace.com/steeltown_sirens)
Well? What are you waiting for? We've done what you asked, now reserve your tickets quick before you miss out on this juicy international Burlesque-stravaganza!
Beauties across Borders: Belmont Burlesque hosts the Steeltown Sirens
WHEN: Saturday, May 5th. Doors at 9pm, show at 10pm
WHERE: Martyr's Pub, 3855 N. Lincoln Ave, Chicago
HOW MUCH: Twice the girls for the same $10!
TO RESERVE TICKETS: http://www.martyrslive.com
or call (800) 594-TIXX
I STILL WANT MORE MORE MORE!!!: Purchase your very own hand-made pasties or BBR gear at our Burlesque Booth-- have it signed by the Bombshells during our post-show autograph session!
WHY? Don't be impudent! *spank!* Reserve your damn tickets already!

[Hendo]

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/223/464423066_bc8f596002.jpg

Here you will see an accurate portrayal of these Canadian beauties crossing our border at a spot protected only by a low-lying barbed-wire fence, wearing tight, short dresses, cut low to reveal their ample bosoms, and wearing high heels, black-seamed stockings, and garter belts for their cross-country trip. And yes, they will find their short skirts entangled in the barbed-wire fences.

Oh, Canadians! First we find ourselves overwhelmed by our neighbors to the South, who come here to steal our jobs. Must you send your beautiful women from the North to steal our hearts, as well?

*sigh*

[Hendo]

Quick update: the folks at Martyrs' say the tickets are moving fast, so RESERVE YOURS NOW!!!