The Results are in and...

[Gass]

Former Smith boyfriend father of infant! (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/anna_nicole_smith)



NASSAU, Bahamas - Anna Nicole Smith (http://search.news.yahoo.com/search/news/?p=Anna+Nicole+Smith)'s former boyfriend Larry Birkhead said Tuesday that DNA tests have proven he is the father of her infant daughter.

Birkhead emerged from a closed court hearing to announce the results. Smith's companion, Howard K. Stern, has been caring for the girl, Dannielynn, who could inherit a fortune in the wake of her mother's February death.
After the hearing, Stern said he would not fight for custody.
An expert in genetic evidence said the DNA analysis has proven Birkhead is Dannielynn's father. Dr. Michael Baird, who analyzed the results of a March 21 DNA test, announced the results outside the court. "Essentially, he's the biological father," Baird said.
A jubilant Birkhead said "My baby's going to be coming home pretty soon."

[Crescent]

"Essentially, he's the biological father." that is a stupid sentence. He IS the biological father. Essentially...people use that word incorrectly all the time.

anyway, good for Larry. Way to impregnate, guy.

[Gass]

"My baby's going to be coming home pretty soon."

"...so, Daddy's gonna need a new yacht!"


I KNEW IT!!!!!!

[Mikaela]

ok so i have a question... so if the baby is going to inherit all that mula, and he is the baby daddy, does this mean that he gets control over the money? man one bad drunk mistake may have been the biggest pay off of his life! yes, i know he was her boyfriend, but come on. the guy had to be on something.

too soon? I LOVE YOU ANS!

[PeteFitz]

Guy starts oil company.
Guy falls in love with stripper.
Guy marries stripper.
Guy dies.
Stripper and oil guy's son argue over money.
Stripper awarded money.
Oil guy's son dies.
Stripper has second baby.
Stripper's first child dies.
Stripper dies.
Infant inherits oil money.
Multiple men claim to be illegitamite child's father.
One of them is.

It's the American Dream. Congratulations, man. You earned it.

[Mikaela]

wait the oil guys son died? when did that happne? i need to catch up on my news.

[EdO]

I'm very impressed with the extensive, in-depth coverage the American news media is giving this extremely important topic. When a drug-addled bimbo who once fucked an old man for his money kills herself, ACTION NEWS will be on the scene! This story is the biggest issue in our society today, surpassing even American Idol updates in some instances! This is, of course, only because "Why is Paris Hilton famous?" was finally knocked from the top spot after months of intense analysis by the most respected experts in the field.

HEY! YOU!

Don't be looking at those flag-draped coffins. Nothing happening over here. That mission was accomplished years ago.

The hip, cool, well-informed American should be concentrating on minute-by-minute updates about Lindsay Lohan's titty size and hair color.





.

[Sleeps]

This photo was taken the very second he pooped his pants with joy.

http://i.a.cnn.net/cnn/2007/LAW/04/10/smith.baby/newt1.1630.birkhead.cnn.jpg