benjohnson
06-01-2010, 09:05 PM
If you get an improv/sketch comedy/theater group together and you want to pay somebody to coach it, I can do that.
I will tell you what you're doing wrong, suggest some solutions, and then I'll think up some exercises that will trick you into thinking you're good at improv/sketch comedy/theater because you'll be doing an exercise instead of worrying about not being good at improv/sketch comedy/theater. Then you and the rest of the people you perform with will get gradually better at improv/sketch comedy/theater until you reach your potential and you either get good enough that you don't need me to trick you into being good anymore (at which point you can use me to help you with projects, depending on whether or not that's of interest to you) or else your team plateaus and you realize that it's not ever going to get better than a medium-good Playground show, at which point you'll get depressed and want to stop paying me. Or else your team will decide that it's not really working out for another reason, like some people are taking it too seriously and bumming everybody out, or some people are really good but they're not showing the proper amount of commitment to the group (because they think it sucks but they don't want to just quit it because they don't want to hurt your feelings), or maybe you're also fucking each other and people are really mad about that for some reason, and/or maybe you grew up and had babies and stuff and you don't need to perform improv/sketch comedy/theater together anymore, you can just be regular-life friends.
If this sounds like something you're about to do regardless, please consider giving me $5 a person per week for the duration of your group's existence. Somebody's gonna get that money. Might as well be me.
Bonus: I actually do kind of know what I'm doing.
I will tell you what you're doing wrong, suggest some solutions, and then I'll think up some exercises that will trick you into thinking you're good at improv/sketch comedy/theater because you'll be doing an exercise instead of worrying about not being good at improv/sketch comedy/theater. Then you and the rest of the people you perform with will get gradually better at improv/sketch comedy/theater until you reach your potential and you either get good enough that you don't need me to trick you into being good anymore (at which point you can use me to help you with projects, depending on whether or not that's of interest to you) or else your team plateaus and you realize that it's not ever going to get better than a medium-good Playground show, at which point you'll get depressed and want to stop paying me. Or else your team will decide that it's not really working out for another reason, like some people are taking it too seriously and bumming everybody out, or some people are really good but they're not showing the proper amount of commitment to the group (because they think it sucks but they don't want to just quit it because they don't want to hurt your feelings), or maybe you're also fucking each other and people are really mad about that for some reason, and/or maybe you grew up and had babies and stuff and you don't need to perform improv/sketch comedy/theater together anymore, you can just be regular-life friends.
If this sounds like something you're about to do regardless, please consider giving me $5 a person per week for the duration of your group's existence. Somebody's gonna get that money. Might as well be me.
Bonus: I actually do kind of know what I'm doing.